The Saga of the Soggy Robins

(conceived April, ’94 by Ken Splane)

Chirp! they went, those daring, intrepid Scout Robins, those brave birds who fly ahead of the flocks of wintering robins in order to test the weather and food supply! But the Scout Robins are going to have a hard time explaining the snow (which came and went), and the lack of protein-laden worms to the main flocks.

The Scout Robins are really catching it now! First, the snow. That was bad enough. Then there was the worm situation. Ever see earthworms crawling on top of snow? Or for that matter, ever see robins worm-fishing through the snow? Now, it’s the endless rain. It’s so bad that a flock of ducks in my backyard are showing the robins how to duck under the water to get the worms. As near as I can tell, the boss robins are making the scout robins dig little drainage ditches as punishment for misjudging Illinois weather. (Hey, the weather man does it almost every day! Why blame a poor bird who doesn’t even live here year round?) Anyway, the scout robins aren’t all that dumb, because they sub-contracted the work to some itinerant moles, and since the moles have some old robin feathers on them and make chirping noises once in a while, the boss robins don’t know any different, the scout robins don’t have to get dirty, and everybody is happy. Except the worms, but when was the last time you saw a worm smile?

Copyright © 1994 Kenneth R. Splane. All rights reserved. May be reproduced in any medium for non-commercial purposes as long as attribution is given. Although why anyone would want to is beyond me.