I have a coffee cup that says “Crazy Cat Lady” on one side and “One Cat Leads to Another” on the other side. Six years ago Ken talked me into adopting a cat and now we have four, so I have proven the point; hence, the cup. But this isn’t about my cats.
It’s about how one thing can happen in our lives, and amazingly, it will lead to results that we never expected, kind of like me agreeing to one cat and ending up with four, and being a crazy cat lady.
I moved to Illinois in 1996 to marry my wonderful Mr. Ken. I prided myself in being able to adjust to new things easily, and I was so excited about our wedding and spending the rest of my life with Ken, that I thought living in Illinois would be a breeze. It wasn’t and hasn’t been. I had no idea what a culture shock it would be to live in Illinois. I had lived in in seven U.S. states and in Israel, so adjusting was no big deal. But Illinois was another story. It turned out to be the biggest challenge of my life. Why, you ask? Because God wanted to change me, and refine some things about my personality. He wanted “iron to sharpen iron.” I didn’t want to be sharpened. I thought I was just fine the way I was.
Which leads to my church, New Life Fellowship, and Pastor Ken Martin.
Because I came from a Messianic Congregation, it was very hard for me to adjust to a church again. But I knew we had to be part of a local body.
In the first seven years of our marriage, we attended or visited nine churches. The longest we attended anywhere during that time was two years. Then, eight years ago we joined New Life Fellowship Church. From the very beginning, God showed me that this was where we were supposed to stay. It was an adjustment, for sure, but whenever I thought I wanted to change, God would reassure me that this was where we were supposed to stay.
It has been good there. We have made friends, had a lot of wonderful times, but the biggest thing that has happened during the past eight years, is that refining that God wanted to do is happening. Eight years ago, I thought that I was just fine. I didn’t realize that I did need to change, but they were fine personality changes that are hard to see when it is your personality.
I said all this to say that today during our church service, I asked God “Why am I here?” “Why did you bring us to this church?” His answer was amazing. He said it was because Pastor Ken would pray for me, and that is what I needed the most. Because when you need to change things like the way you relate to people, it takes a lot of time…and prayer. I am sure every pastor prays for his congregation. But God showed me today that the prayers Pastor Ken has prayed for me was a foundational reason I have been able to change, and to be refined and to grow.
Thank you, God, for leading us to New Life Fellowship. You have always been faithful to tell me why, because I always ask, and I need to know.
And thank you, Pastor Ken, for praying for me. I will never be the same.
thanks for sharing these thoughts Lea..it is a wonderful example to me, your life, and how you are sensitive to God’s leading. I was rereading ‘Mere Christianity’ and C.S. Lewis’ words impressed upon me once again that the Christian life means “killing part of yourself, undergoing a kind of death.” “It means unlearning all the self-conceit and self-will that we have been training ourselves into for thousands of years”. I think this part of your life exemplifies these words. It is obvious you prayed over your unhappiness at this church, but then you listened for God’s response. He said, No, Stay. …and you obeyed because you knew that there is no finding happiness outside of His will. And it sounds like God didn’t give you an answer over these last 8 yrs, until yesterday, to your question as to why you needed to stay. I think the not knowing was part of the process of refinement, and that yesterday God honored your obedience with a clear answer. Thank you for transparently sharing this experience so we all can have a lesson on dying to self and its rewards!